Dear Publisher

Subject: The Only Book That Won't Be Obsolete When the Grid Goes Down

I am offering you the rights to the final chapter of human sanity.

While your other authors are writing "Five Steps to Financial Freedom" or "How to Fix the Planet," I have written a manual on how to laugh while the planet does a celebratory somersault into a black hole.

My book, "Laughter for the Sinking Ship", treats the apocalypse as a sitcom and the human ego as a prop. It is the perfect gift for people who feel like crying but realize that tears don't have a high enough ROI (Return on Irrelevance).

I expect an advance that reflects the total absurdity of our current inflation rates. Please ensure the contract includes a "Cosmic Irony" clause and that the physical copies are printed on paper that is soft enough to be used as currency after the next economic collapse.

I await your offer. Make it ridiculous. Anything sensible will be rejected immediately.

Warmly (and Cynically),

Eduardo Ramirez